Surprise Factor at its Best
by Shinigami's Voice
Summary: And the foolish Yuki, at being French kissed by his own feisty cousin so out of the blue, had naturally, jumped to the conclusion that Kyo –bastard cat that he was- was toying with him and this new knowledge


Author's Notes: Fic dedicated to my dearest Tanuki-chan, after almost two years of wait. I finally managed to write something resembling her request:

"Something with Kyo Sohma in it. A lemon, perhaps?"

And since I lost the bet that initiated such request, here it is.

Pairing: Kyo Yuki

Rating: PG-13. Just innuendo of the lime kind.

Summary: Momiji suggested Kyo to use the surprise factor in his fights with Yuki. But the results were not the expected ones. Unless one expects to end up kissing his rival against a wall.

_"And the foolish Yuki, at being French kissed by his own feisty cousin so out of the blue, had naturally, jumped to the conclusion that Kyo –bastard cat that he was- was toying with him and this new knowledge"_

**Surprise Factor at its Best**

It was all Momiji's fault, seriously.

No, seriously! The chirpy, bubbly, silly kid with his chirpy, bubbly and silly ideas.

Kyo was seething.

He had actually forgotten that same kid was practically his age. He could be quite the manipulative little bastard if he so wanted to be.

So, this episode of hell was really the usagi's fault.

This-this-this goddamn freaking twilight-zone scene was not his fault at all!

Kyo was muttering.

And of course it had to be part of that damn Yuki's fault too. Kuso nezumi.

The only thing – the only flaw in that affirmation- was that said damn mouse had also been pretty much gobsmacked by the whole episode from hell.

He had gaped like a fish out of water, gone an interesting scarlet color, then turned into something blue and finally -for the first time ever after a cat-mouse encounter- the damn mouse had fled.

Kyo kept stealing short glances at the staircase.

The stupid 'prince Yuki' had all but slammed his door closed, by sheer wounded pride not screaming profanities at Kyo, who had remained in the first floor of their two-stories house.

The arrogant silence was useless, anyway. It was not like there was someone else home. Shigure had gone out to visit –or torture- that editor woman, and Tohru had gone to a sleepover-study-raid with the yankee and the denpa girl. Poor girls were a lost case.

Kyo stood up from his place at the kotatsu to peer up the staircase.

The door to the nezumi's room was closed still, of course. Who knew what the freaking prince was doing there, perhaps kicking himself for finally letting his guard down during a fight with Kyo, and paying a most rare but undignified price for that.

Turned tail and ran, the coward…

Kyo thought and smirked.

So the move had been a horrible one. So he had not connected but a single hit. So he had played dirty. But he had just been following some kind of hairbrained idea sputtered by the cursed rabbit one of these past days.

o-o-o-o-o-o

'If Kyo is so determinate to have some kind of upperhand when fighting Yuki, he should surprise him once he breaks into Kyo's defense'

Momiji had mused while eating some random pastry.

Kyo had instantly jumped at the implication.

'He does NOT break into my defen-'

Haru, who had been sitting there with the rabbit and the cat, cut in with his deadpan voice.

'Of course he does it, all the time'

'I'm just saying, you should learn from the t.v. shows, those wrestling matches when this one guy gets thrown back by a hit to his forehead or a kick to his ankle! The surprise factor!' –Momiji had continued, happily munching.

Haru turned his vacant expression to the shorter Sohma.

'Don't give him ideas for dirty tactics. Kyo can't win because Yuki is better, that simple'

'Damn fat cow, saying that to my face!' –Kyo had all but yelled.

'I was facing Momiji, not you' –had been Haru's answer.

After that initial dialogue Kyo had chosen to go outside for some training, ranting about stupid cousins and their stupid pointless visits.

o-o-o-o-o-o

That's why, today of all days, when Kyo had managed to stir up another fight with the kuso nezumi, he had been hell bent on winning.

As usual.

Only this time, he was prepared to try the famous 'all is fair in love and war'.

Stupid saying, really, but damn convenient when one wanted to smack over the head one's arrogant bastard of a cousin Yuki.

The brawl had gone pretty much as all their previous brawls' pattern: Kyo yelled and insulted, Yuki replied with some smartass comment. Kyo returned it double in smartass-ness. Yuki glared and chose to ignore him.

Kyo launched a punch and next a kick.

Yuki deflected, crouched, connected a mild hit to Kyo's side, pushed and smirked.

(The bastard)

Kyo –as per usual- forgot all about being cool and careful and went all out on the damn nezumi, wracking the tobira in his wake.

(Good thing there was no annoying dog to whine about broken furniture)

Yuki simply backed down three miserable steps, getting out of Kyo's hitting range, and then in a blur, sidestepped him and gave one step forward, instantly placing himself an inch close to Kyo's wide-eyed face.

'Such an idiotic cat, really'

Kyo could only froze and blink. Damn, again with the defense-breaking move!

'If I wanted to attack your open stance, I would only need to punch you in the stomach-'

Kyo finally snapped back to his Momiji-induced idea. Take him by surprise. Kick his ankle! Butthead him! Slap him!

Kyo was almost sure some kind of alien force had taken residence in his body when –to his and the nezumi's utter surprise- he ended up shoving his face forward and connecting his lips to Yuki's.

And it was then when hell broke loose and the earth was arrested in the gravitational pull of Mars.

First, a frozen eerie moment, during which both teens were still as rocks, only looking at each other's eyes.

Second, Kyo's continuing drop into insanity, when he pushed forward instead of retreating, his lips more forcefully pressed against the mouse's slightly open mouth.

Third, the sick humor sense of Lady Fate, who chose to place a wall right behind Yuki, providing a flat surface against which the dark-haired Sohma was backed up, still frozen into some kind of shock.

Fourth, the moment of complete confusion-induced defeat, when Yuki simply let his arms fall to his sides, not even pushing against his fire-eyed cousin who was turning the lips-to-lips contact into something akin to an open-mouthed kiss. By now Yuki's grey eyes were –finally- starting to widen.

Fifth, Kyo's show of his own breaking-into-defense-move, when he put his arms over Yuki's shoulders, with full liberty of movement in a display of having trapped a mouse, like a proverbial cat-and-mouse game. The only problem was that Kyo was sure cats were supposed to trap mice by using some kind of hit or device, not by kissing them French-style against a wall.

Sixth, the instant of horrid realization, when Yuki's head lurched back, trying to disconnect from the act, his late reaction resulting in the breaking of the kiss with an almost cute pop sound, eyes impossibly wide and cheeks turning an angry red. Kyo too was beginning to change color, only his skin was getting paler instead.

Seventh and final stage, when Yuki chose to finish the Episode of Hell (cap locks now) by making true his previous threat, punching Kyo hard in the stomach and simultaneously shoving him back, face featuring the most rare combination of flushed and enraged.

Kyo, completely out of breath from the punch and thrown onto his backside on the floor, only saw through scrunched eyes the jeans-clad legs walking away and up the staircase.

Yuki hadn't even insulted Kyo when he retreated, but surely he had been muttering enough colorful curse words to be proper vocabulary of a high school prince.

o-o-o-o-o

An hour now after the incident, Kyo continued damning Momiji back and forth, his perspective all messed up.

He did win to some kind of extent. Yuki had looked hilarious with that lost-puppy face.

But he had kissed the damn stuck up mouse!

Kyo wanted to think the whole thing had been a nauseating horrible experience, however he was having a hard time lying to himself.

Because it was not the first time he kissed. No. It was perhaps a surprise to general population, but he had been stolen of some kisses before, courtesy of an enthusiastic Kagura. And he had also initiated some kisses too.

Not with Kagura, though. The sweet scary girl needed to snap out of her crush fast, since when Kyo had felt inclined to try such thing, he had done so with a school boy.

Not someone of his current school, of course. He had been absent from the city in his training trip during months to no end two years ago, after all. One had to sooner or later make some human contact for food and supplies and whatnot.

It had just happened that Kyo had hung around with some other school-skipping kids, and hormones and curiosity had given him the fright of his life, when he had discovered that kissing guys was not all that bad.

So, back to the current moment, he was only mild disgusted by the fact that his first somehow-deep kiss had indeed been with the nezumi. It had not been a bad one –the fool Yuki had pretty much left him do as he pleased, body slack and lips pliant. But the good part of a kiss was for it to be appreciated and reciprocated.

This one had been given to no one but his long-time rival and much detested cousin.

Stupid mouse probably was freaking out in his room now, thinking himself dirtied to no end. Thinking on how the cat had to resort to such extreme things to win a fight. Smugly thinking that he was too good to be defeated by other ends. Arrogantly thinking that he was too good to be kissed by the cat. Mockingly thinking that surely the cat was attracted to him, the mouse with his pretty looks and soft hair…….

Kyo's hands clenched into fists, as he pondered all this at the base of the staircase.

No way he was letting the kuso nezumi think all that!

Face settled into an almost murderous scowl, Kyo went up the stairs, silent as in a hunt. He placed himself in front of the rat's room, and then he completely forwent the meaningless courtesy of knocking.

He didn't even pound on the door.

Kyo just threw the damn door down with a well placed kick, gaining instant entrance to Yuki's room.

(Once again, it was a good thing there was no house-owner to complain about such disrespect towards furniture and structure)

"Oi, kuso nezumi! The hell you are thinking now?!"

Kyo didn't need to look around for the mouse, because he was sitting there on the bed, practically facing the door's direction.

He didn't seem smug or arrogant or mocking and neither disgusted.

Yuki actually seemed downright furious, in a very cold and hair-trigger way.

'Repressed boiling anger or some other metaphorical crap' - Kyo thought.

"Get out of my room" –Yuki's voice was deceptively low, tone like a tensed string about to snap.

"Damn you kuso nezumi, you can't order me around you arro-"

"Get out, Kyo" –Yuki's voice broke no argument as he stood from his place on the bed, giving a couple of steps forward as to reinforce his point.

And Kyo blinked and grew serious instead of illogically angered.

His name out of Yuki's mouth was a very, truly rare thing.

"Just wanted to make sure, stupid mouse, that you weren't thinking some stupid shit about your stupid loss down there"

And in order not to feel too intimidated by this cold furious Yuki, Kyo opted for the fake act of smiling smugly. It always helped Yuki to gain some ground and control in his arguments with Kyo, since it made Kyo lose his cool.

However Yuki didn't seem to be losing his serious aura at all. In fact, now it seemed worse.

"I shouldn't be surprised, really. I should have expected this from you, cat. You and your imbecile notion of wins and losses. It was too good a chance to let it pass, wasn't it? Why not make use of that knowledge, eh? When you finally get some leverage, you have to put it into action, don't you? What I think and what I feel and the whole mess that I go through each time the others decide to approach me is pretty much meaningless to you, right? It is the humiliation factor what it counts, right?"

Kyo gaped. Inwardly he supposed he also had to look like a fish out of the water, but the hell was Yuki talking about?

This was not the reaction he had kind of expected out of a guy who had been kissed by another guy. Where were the exclamations of disgust?

"Get out of my room, Kyo, and if by any chance you are considering to go and brag about this like the stupid moron that you are, consider first how difficult it will be for anyone to pull me back when I decide to seriously hurt you in-"

"The hell are you talking about! Brag to whom about what?!" –Kyo broke into the mouse's surprisingly scary threat –"You think I will go shouting around that I – I – kinda kissed you?! Are you nuts? You the freaking perfect prince of the high school with dozens of little girlfriends proposing each day?!"

Yuki blinked, his serious angered expression acquiring some hint of suspicion.

"Are you mocking me? About those-the others-"

"What others? What!? Don't tell me you don't have dozens of stupid girls following you around, I can not imagine how they can kiss you and don't find out that you are a damn rat!"

Yuki blinked again, stopping short of three steps from the other Sohma.

And Kyo copied the gesture, his angry flustered tirade halting.

'Damn it all to hell and back. Shit. The guy's never been kissed. And he's still so not vomiting about what happened down there?' –Kyo's mind was going in circles back to that moment of six stages.

"Those girls are not your business, and they have nothing to do with me either" –Yuki recovered the icy tone- "And you don't have anything to do with my personal life or my classmates either. And I certainly hope you're not playing dumb right now, although such feat must be pretty easy for you, stupid cat. You are going to seriously regret pulling out something like that again. You or any other might think it's such a funny underhanded trick, but-"

"What other?" –Kyo scoffed, not making much sense of what the mouse was saying.

Yuki glared again.

"Only you could find this amusing enough to keep-"

Kyo bristled, taking a violent step forward.

"I don't know what other you're talking about, damn it, and don't even know what you're talking about to begin with! Other guy or what?! Is this about being mad for being kissed or for kissing with guys or what?!"

This time, Yuki did lose the angry expression to be replaced by one of mild surprise and mild disbelief.

Kyo waited for the angry comeback, the retort, the verbal expression of how an unnatural thing it was, no matter that Sohmas were all as unnatural as they come.

But Yuki, grey-purple eyed, dark-haired, pale-skinned Yuki, took too long to form a reply.

That pause was enough for Kyo's mind to find the missing link.

Click.

And for some unknown reason to him –Kyo still hadn't ruled out the possibility of those body-snatching alien forces – he smiled one damn sexy smile when the cat realized that the mouse was not freaking out at being kissed by another boy, because the mouse himself was not averse to the idea of kissing other guys.

It seemed only that the nezumi was rather new to the notion of him liking men, and consequentially being paranoid about it. Perhaps some classmate at school had tried to kiss him. Perhaps he had been proposed by a pretty boy and not a pretty girl lately.

And the foolish Yuki, at being French kissed by his own feisty cousin so out of the blue, had naturally, jumped to the conclusion that Kyo –bastard cat that he was- was toying with him and this new knowledge.

"Baka nezumi. One does not always have 'I like boys' tattooed on the forehead" –Kyo finally said, for some reason the words sounding like a pick up line coming out of his mouth.

Yuki gave one step back –seeing as Kyo now kept advancing- his expression still full of suspicion, eyebrows pinched together.

"Why did you to that, then? What is your excuse, baka neko?" –he muttered, until now considering the possibility that Kyo really didn't know about his recent discovery of homosexual attraction.

Kyo for once felt confident in a delicate situation.

He did have eyes, after all. The damn Yuki was not that repulsive a mouse after all. And he did stir up something inside Kyo, no one else made him want to punch them so fiercely, and no one else had made him kiss them so thoroughly before.

"Well, initially the plan was to knock you out with my equally un-tattooed forehead when you were close enough, but then…then things kind of took up on their own. It's not my fault you always get so damn close anyway"

Yuki almost rolled his eyes at the lame explanation. But now that he thought about it, of course Kyo couldn't be smart enough to think of something else.

"It's not my fault that your defense is so poor"- Yuki retorted, by now taking notice of Kyo's odd smile and closeness.

"You have a rather poor defense right now, too"- Kyo returned, another step forward forcing Yuki to back further, this time against the edge of the conveniently placed bed.

Lady Fate's humor could turn out to be a good one, it seemed.

Yuki rapidly stole a glance back, then a glance at Kyo and his expression and demeanor and the whole situation became rather amusing.

He smiled. With a touch of smugness, the bastard.

"That has to be the worst come-onto line that history has ever heard" –he said, one hand on his hip, giving Kyo a calculating glance.

What the hell were they doing, going on with this?

Surely it was a stupid, stupid thing.

"Well, stealing first kisses is more my thing, you would say?" –Kyo was inwardly amazed at his own forwardness.

But the nezumi and him knew each other rather well, and had gone through good and bad and worst together since circumstances brought them living here. And their fights had to mean something, right? And one couldn't deny that they were both somehow attracted to the other.

Such irony, that at the beginning of this Episode from Hell (maybe??) he had thought about that horrible cliché saying of all is fair in love and war.

"You and your stupid-"

Yuki's reply was cut by Kyo's mouth, for the second time pressing against slightly parted lips of one Sohma Yuki.

And since Momiji's suggested surprise factor had turned out to be rather useful after all, Kyo decided to go all out.

That's why he deepened the kiss, at the time one hand on Yuki's shoulder pressed down to sit him on the bed, and the other found a nice spot on one slim hip. When one takes a risk, better take a big one. Doing things at half had never been Kyo's style anyway.

And Yuki had never been one to back down in their confrontations. And now more than ever, with the shadow of Akito's abusive power over him-over them, Yuki was learning to keep a strong hold onto the things-the people that he cherished.

That's why he smiled throughout the first seconds of the kiss, allowing his lips to fall open some more, daring to be the first to bring their tongues into play. And following cues into sitting down on the soft mattress, one of his hands curling on Kyo's nape, and the other placed atop Kyo's own hand on his hip.

The hand on his shoulder, though, didn't remain on that spot for much longer, as Kyo startled him by placing it on his inner thigh.

"Kyo…" –Yuki murmured, separating some from the heated kiss they had been sharing.

"I know, I know. I'm not going third base or anything, just a little exploring doesn't hurt, right? I am gonna be rational and all that jazz and just grope here and there but that's what happens when you're kissing good-looking guys after all, kinda hard to set up limits and-"

Yuki's full fledged smug-charged smile made Kyo stop.

"I just wanted to comment that since your Neanderthal tendencies deprived the room of a door, one would want to remember that Shigure will come back sooner or later"

Kyo blinked, eyes taking into Yukis' reddened lips and flushed cheeks.

"Oh" –he said, glancing back at the hole at the bedroom's entrance –"You think it would shock him close to a heart attack?"

"No" –Yuki shook his head, hair of silver and grey flowing- "Shigure and my brother, you know. It is not only for fun that they call each other all that"

Kyo chuckled at the information.

"Should have known, then. With a big brother like yours, of course you had to inherit something. Why I didn't see it sooner, the family trend…" –he half mocked, his hands still intimately posed on Yuki's body, fingers tracing lines over shirt and jeans.

Yuki chuckled in turn.

"And that brings us to the incest factor of all this, don't you think?"

Kyo looked up at that, snorting disregardingly.

"We are cousins in like 10th grade, because a brother of a father of a mother of an uncle of a cousin of us is related. Although it's kinda kinky, mixed up with the whole no-door scenario…·

Yuki snorted and smiled in time, the hand curled around Kyo's neck bringing him forward.

"Shut up and kiss me again"

Kyo complied readily, standing up and pushing Yuki back on the bed. He knew he would have had to back down if Yuki showed any sign of not wanting things to go further.

Good thing for both of them, Yuki was not complaining at all. He responded with the same amount to enthusiasm to the kisses, the touches and even pressing back his hips to Kyo's body pinning him down into the mattress, both of them already feeling each other's acceptance of this strange and arousing new situation.

o-o-o-o-o

One could not be sure whether Momiji had this in mind, or not.

_FIN._


End file.
